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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Will O'the Wisp's LiveJournal:

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    Saturday, July 18th, 2009
    5:59 pm
    tipping policy
     Over the weekend, my daughter and I will receive a total of three one-hour
    aerial silk lessons from a professional instructor.

    Is it appropriate and/or expected to tip said instructor? And if so, how much?
    Thursday, July 16th, 2009
    10:42 am
    Powerisers
     They arrived today. I walked twice around the house, needing my twin
    walking sticks pretty much constantly for the first circuit but only
    intermittently for the second. The biggest challenge was standing up
    in the first place. I am now drenched in sweat and cancelling my usual
    morning workout.
    Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
    4:41 pm
    Where the guys are, take two
     This is your second notice that I have a smart, professional, generally awesome monogamous
    female friend (age 41) who is eager to meet a smart, professional, generally awesome
    monogamous man, capable of appreciating such a woman, in the Boston area. The acceptable
    age range is very wide.

    Although my circle of Boston friends is largely awesome, it is also largely non-monogamous.
    But I entreat your help in identifying the friends who might qualify and, better yet,
    identifying friends-of-friends and friends-of-friends-of-friends who seem to be likely
    candidates.

    I vouch for major awesomeness on the lady's part. Who do you got?
    Tuesday, June 30th, 2009
    5:07 pm
    Paypal is a fucking idiot
     me: "A street address has been added to my account. It is not my street
    address. It has never been my street address. I do not recognize this
    address in any way. I'd like to know when it was added and whether it has
    ever been used for any transactions."

    them: "Oh. well that's probably the street address associated with your
    bank account."

    me: "No, MY address is associated with my bank account. i do not recognize
    this address."

    them: "Well, don't worry. There is NO WAY we could have added an address
    to your profile. SO there's nothing to worry about."

    me: "I KNOW you didn't add the address. Neither did I. That's why I'd
    like some help trying to figure out who did."

    them: "Really, it's not an issue. We CANNOT add addresses to user
    accounts."

    me: "Is there someone else I can talk to?"

    them: "Yes, I can connect you with another department."

    me: "Which other department?"

    them: "It's a different department."

    me: "Are they smarter than you?"

    them: "Yes".

    me: "Please connect me then."

    That was one hour ago. I remain on hold.
    Monday, June 22nd, 2009
    9:16 am
    boston area housemate?
     I have a (female) friend, currently a grad student at Cornell, who will be
    visiting Harvard for one year starting a couple of months from now. She is
    looking for a place to live, preferably with easy access (on foot or by T)
    to Harvard Square. She describes herself as a "clean freak". Let me know
    if you know of something.
    Friday, June 19th, 2009
    3:58 pm
    My afternoon
     My afternoon.

    By WillO.

    I type "tex foo". As I do approximately 30 times a day, every day of my life.

    TeX complains about a piece of code. As it sometimes does.

    I comment out the area around that piece of code. I type "TeX foo". TeX continues
    to complain about the code, even though it's commented out.

    I *erase* the offending lines. I type "TeX foo". TeX continues to complain about
    the code, even though it's no longer there.

    I rename foo (without the offending code) foo2. I type "tex foo2". TeX continues to
    complain about the code, even though it has never been a part of foo2.

    I create a new file, called foo3, the contents of which are "Hello world. \bye". I
    type "tex foo3". TeX continues to complain about the code that used to be in foo.

    I close my command window and open a new one. I type "tex foo3". Same complaint.

    I reboot. Same complaint.

    I move to a different directory, create a new file called foo4, with content "this is
    a test. \bye". I type "tex foo4" and it works great.

    In that same new directory, I create another new file called foo5, with content
    "this is a totally different test \bye". I type "tex foo5". The output says
    "this is a test."

    It eventually becomes apparent that I get to TeX exactly one new file (call it newfoo)
    per directory. All subsequent attempts to invoke TeX from that directory (say with
    "tex newfoo2") result in the same output as "tex newfoo". EVEN IF I HAVE ERASED THE FILE
    newfoo.

    Let me repeat that: Once I've fed a file to TeX, it believes forever after that any
    time I invoke it from that directory, it should continue to act on the contents of that
    file EVEN IF THE FILE IS NOT THERE.

    Yes, I finally figured it out. I want my afternoon back.
    Thursday, June 18th, 2009
    4:00 pm
    wordplay
     It has come to my attention that astasia is both

    a) a colorless euglenoid that does not have plastids or a light-sensing spot

    and

    b) a lack of motor coordination which leaves the patient unable to stand or walk unassisted.

    Color me stupefied that the attendant opportunities for wordplay have not become ubiquitous.
    Think of doggerel that plays off the double meaning, or ironic little vignettes in which
    the hero (or heroine!) is led badly astray by assuming that a reference to one sort of
    astasia is in fact a reference to the other.

    It's not like the literary potential of other English double meanings (think ``pussy'') has
    gone unexploited. Here is your opportunity to get in on the ground floor of a whole
    new subgenre. Give me your best astasia puns!

    Edited to add, before this was even posted: Needless to say, [info]sconstant has
    come through for me, brilliantly, with about three seconds lead time. I'll let her post
    her own entry. Please don't be intimidated by her brilliance. I value your efforts.
    Thursday, June 11th, 2009
    8:45 pm
    A word to the wise
     In addition to backing up my hard drive regularly, I clone it once a a month
    or so. (A clone creates an exact, bit-by-bit copy of the drive, including
    all the system files, executables, etc.)

    My laptop is down for a few days (waiting for delivery of a new motherboard).
    So I borrowed a laptop from one of [info]naiad1's kids, plugged in my
    clone, and I am up and running.

    This laptop won't actually boot off the clone (different hardware needs
    different drivers) but to my surprise, almost all my software runs just
    fine, and for all practical purposes this is just like having my own
    computer back. I should have done this a few days ago when my computer
    first went down.

    I always figured the clone would get me back up and running in an instant if
    my hard drive ever died; I hadn't stopped to think that it would do the
    same if the computer itself crashed. This is GREAT.

    Clone your hard drive!
    Saturday, May 30th, 2009
    8:46 pm
    P.S.
     Addendum to my last two posts:

    While driving home yesterday, I passed by a scene of major commotion, with
    at least 20 police cars and several streets blocked off. I switched my
    radio to AM looking for an explanation but didn't get anything.

    When I arrived home, my phone was ringing re the bomb scare I had triggered.
    I failed at the time to connect this with all the hubbub.

    It is now clear, however, from reading news reports, that this was MY hubbub.
    Several streets were closed and several neighboring houses and businesses
    were evacuated. At that exact time, in that exact place.
    Friday, May 29th, 2009
    4:58 pm
    A round of email
     (This will make sense only if you've read my previous post.)


    FROM ME TO THE CHIEF SAFETY OFFICER:


    Well---that was easily a week's worth of excitement. I am very
    sorry indeed to have caused so much trouble for so many people,
    you among them. In retrospect, I can see how the package I
    mailed might have looked suspicious, but I completely failed to
    foresee it.

    Thanks for your good cheer and for not pulling out the explosives
    without checking in with me. I do realize that you and everyone
    else involved surely had much better things to do today, and I
    wish I hadn't prevented you from doing them.


    HIS RESPONSE:


    This was an unfortunate incident and I understand there was no malice
    on your part, but certainly a lot of resources went into the response.
    I say we take credit for training and move on. Have a good weekend.
    2:41 pm
    What Happened
     [info]hawkhandsaw was visiting last weekend and left behind a mailing tube containing
    some riding crops and canes. There was also a plastic strap that she'd attached to the
    tube for use as a handle.

    She asked me to mail the tube back to her, and specifically asked me to remove the handle
    first, presumably to avoid snags, etc. But it seemed a shame to remove her handle, so
    I just taped it down instead. And left the tube in the mailroom.

    I left work early because I'd forgotten my cellphone and didn't want to be without it.
    When I walked in the house, the cellphone was ringing. It was my secretary, informing
    me that the package had been tagged as suspicious, the mail facility had been evacuated,
    and the bomb squad had taken charge of the premises.

    I phoned over there and spoke to the officer in charge, who asked me if I could identify
    the contents of the package. I said that the package had been inadvertently left at
    my house by a friend and that I'd mailed it back without looking in it, which was true
    but apparently the wrong answer. He told me they'd need to speak to my friend
    IMMEDIATELY or they'd have to blow the package up.

    I emphasized that the friend was entirely trustworthy and that the package had sat
    in my house for three days before I mailed it. I also offered to come pick it up.
    That was a non-starter.

    I had no phone # for [info]hawkhandsaw so I got on IRC and set all the channel
    denizens to work frantically trying to dig up a #. Got a #, got voicemail, left a
    message.

    The head of the bomb squad called and said he'd like to come out to my house to talk
    to me; I said sure. A few minutes later [info]hawkhandsaw called in response to
    my frantic email. I had her call the mailroom and speak to the bomb-squad-guy-in-charge.

    Ten minutes later, the chief bomb squadder showed up on my doorstep and asked me to
    come downtown with him. I said I'd be glad to, but perhaps it would be unnecessary
    since the owner of the package had been reached and was even now talking to his
    colleagues.

    He radioed said colleagues and confirmed that [info]hawkhandsaw had accurately
    (as verified by X-ray) described the package contents (two crops, two canes, and an
    evil stick, though apparently she had to explain exactly what a crop is). I heard
    him say "So this is a non-event, then?" After (apparently) receiving an affirmative
    reply, he hung up, told me the trip downtown was cancelled, pulled out a notebook,
    asked me a number of questions about [info]hawkhandsaw (including her age and
    her time of departure) and left.

    The end. I think.
    Thursday, May 28th, 2009
    2:09 pm
    The Hidden Cost of Parties
     My daily weight, starting the day before last weekend's party and continuing
    through today:





    That's an EIGHT POUND GAIN owing to the party and its aftermath. I have weighed
    174 before, but I've never weighed more.

    Back to the rowing machine!
    Monday, May 18th, 2009
    2:44 pm
    Unix question
     I have a unix script (called, say, doit) that contains
    variables $1, $2, $3.

    I also have a file (called, say, stringlist) that looks
    like this:

    a
    b
    c

    I want to write a new script (called, say, newscript)
    such that invoking the command "newscript stringlist"
    is equivalent to invoking the command "doit a b c".

    And of course if I have a file called otherstringlist
    with contents

    d
    e
    f

    then "newscript otherstringlist" should be equivalent
    to "doit d e f".

    How do I do this?

    (PS: In case it matters, I prefer a solution that works
    under tcsh.)

    (Double PS: What I'm currently doing is editing the file
    stringlist to replace the line "a" with a sed command
    that changes "$1" to "a" in doit, and likewise for all
    other lines (i can co this with a 1,$s/^/.... and a
    1,$s/$/ ...), then running the resulting script to create
    a new script without any variables that I can just run. But
    surely there's a better way?)
    Thursday, April 23rd, 2009
    7:27 am
    Crazy Lawn Guy Update
     My crazy lawn guy has billed me again.

    To recap the billing history:

    The first bill, in May 2006, covered several weeks of intense manual labor. The bill
    was for $100.

    The second bill came two years later, in June 2008. It covered two winters' worth of
    shoveling and two summers' work of gardening, including mulching with mulch that he supplied.
    This bill was itemized as "Winter work: $24; summer work $30; total: $54".

    The third bill came six months later, in December, 2008, after my black walnut trees had
    done their annual shedding. "Picking up walnuts: $75".

    The fourth bill has just arrived, roughly four months later. It reads "Shoveled three
    times in December 2008, $54".

    He did continue to shovel through January, February and March, but these are not
    mentioned on the bill.
    Friday, March 27th, 2009
    11:36 am
    A Bedtime Story

    My Date


    by WillO


    I had a first-date last night, with an intriguing lady I'd met on OKCupid
    and chatted with a few times on line. From my door to hers is 73 miles,
    but she seemed worth the trip.

    I was in the vicinity of her house about fifteen minutes early, with a gas
    gauge below empty. I stopped for gas.

    This was when I discovered that my pockets were empty. In other words, I
    had:

    ---No credit cards.
    ---No cash. And because I'm driving a brand new car, no hope of finding even
    a quarter between the seat cushions.
    ---No cellphone.
    ---No slip of paper with the phone number where I was supposed to call her
    to get last minute directions on where to pick her up.
    ---No condoms. (Not, as it turned out, a significant issue)
    ---No way to get back home (viz. "gas gauge below empty")

    I *thought* I remembered her address, but the plan had been that she might or
    might not be home, and if she wasn't, I was to call her (using the cellphone
    I didn't have to call the number on the slip of paper that I didn't have)
    and she'd direct me to an alternate location a few blocks away. This, of
    course, was not going to happen.

    The one saving grace was that I had my digital camera with me. I figured I
    could probably trade it for a tank of gas and slink back home. If that failed,
    I was doomed. The obvious ``call [info]naiad1 for an emergency rescue''
    strategy foundered on the whole ``no cellphone/no quarter for a payphone''
    deal.

    (Where were my pocket items? I'd lain down for a twenty minute nap before
    setting out, emptied my pockets, forgot to refill them.)

    So anyway: I went to what I thought I remembered was the right address. I
    was ten minutes early. I knocked. I heard footsteps. Yay (sort of)! She
    answers the door wearing just a towel, giving me a moment's hope that I'd
    wandered into a grade-B porn flick. But instead she yelps ``you're early!
    Still getting ready!'', over her shoulder as she runs upstairs.

    There follows a flurry of getting-ready activity, involving her running upstairs/
    downstairs/upstairs/downstairs grabbing an earring here, a shoe there. And me
    thinking: At what point in this flurry is it my job to stop her and say:
    ``Ummmm. We might not be going anywhere.''?

    There seemed no appropriate moment, so I waited till she was completely ready,
    then announced that I either was or had committed a major fuckup. She looked
    exasperated and said ``Only an American would think this was a problem. I've
    got money.''

    I said: "Ummm. I also need gas." She said: "Lets go buy you some gas."

    It was only after I started pumping that I realized I didn't actually need to
    *fill* the tank on her dime. This realization hit about ten dollars' worth
    into the procedure, whereupon I replaced the nozzle.

    The rest of the date was as lovely as a date can be, subject to condoms being
    unnecessary. My periodic re-apologies were met, every time, with ``Don't be
    so American''. The theory, apparently, was that only an American would have
    been unsympathetic to my plight, and therefore only an American would have
    contemplated the possibility of being met with a lack of sympathy.

    I'll see her again.
    Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
    8:02 pm
    The end of the story
     He took all five twenties.
    1:02 pm
    Housecleaner Update
     Following up on this post:

    Inspired by insightful comments from [info]jbsegal, [info]sweetmmeblue, [info]ivymcallister,
    [info]fennel, [info]concrete, [info]blk and [info]drwex, I made a last minute change of strategy.

    I ripped up the $100 check and left five twenty dollar bills, with a note that says simply:

    "Alberto: I am lucky to have found you. You do me a great favor every time you come here.
    No further favors are necessary. Thank you for being so good in so many ways."

    This leaves the ball in his court. I'll see how many bills are on the table when I get
    home tonight.
    12:21 am
    Advice Needed NOW
     1) I love my housecleaner. He charges $75, which I consider a bargain. I always leave
    him $100. I also tip him well at Xmas.

    2) He told me last month that he was very grateful for my generosity and wanted to do a
    cleaning for free. I told him that I was even more grateful to have him working for me
    and really wanted to pay him. I left him the usual $100.

    3) He is coming tomorrow. He called today and told me I should *really* leave him just
    $40 this time.

    4) I will be leaving a check on the table and leaving the house in the morning, so I need
    to make a decision by then. Underpaying him feels WAY wrong, no matter how much he asks
    for it. I think the right solution is to leave a check for $40 plus a gift worth about
    $60, but I have no time to shop for said gift (nor any idea of what I'd get him, nor a shred
    of an inclination to shop even if I had the time).

    5) What do I do?

    Edited to add: I left a $100 check and the following note:


    Alberto: I am very lucky to have found you. You do me a great favor every
    time you come here. No other favors are necessary. It is a great pleasure
    to pay you for your excellent work. Please allow me that pleasure!

    This was okay, right?
    Wednesday, March 11th, 2009
    8:57 pm
    car saga
     For those who care I bought the ES350.

    The whole story: [info]naiad1 and I spent a wonderful weekend in Boston, which meant she
    couldn't do her weekly grocery shopping. So I was assigned to bring takeout for her and
    hers on Monday evening.

    On the way, I passed my alltime favorite service station---the one that that still had the
    little clicky things on the gas pumps that let you keep pumping while you walk away, even
    after they were outlawed by the county legislature (if you don't think county legislators
    have too much time on their hands, try envisioning the guy who said: "Wow, we really gotta
    *do* something about those little clicky things"). Long ago, I remarked to the owner that
    he seemed to have the only little clicky things in town anymore and he said, "Yeah, they're
    illegal, but my customers want them." At that moment he won all my business for a lifetime.

    Anyway, as I passed the station, my oil light came on. I know that when your oil light
    comes on, you should stop the car instantly. I know this because I've explained it forcefully
    to my daughter about seven dozen times. (That and "never buy bonds" have been my two major
    pieces of fatherly advice. Fortunately, she was never in much of a position to take the
    latter advice.)

    I knew this. I also knew the food was getting cold and I had three hungry kids and a hungry
    [info]naiad1 to feed. And they were real close. So rather than stop and leave the
    car, I stopped just long enough to dump in a quart of oil and drove on, with the oil light
    coming back on almost instantly. But I'd just added a quart. And it was a short short drive.
    And I'd bring the car right back to the service station right afterward.

    We ate. I drove the car back to the service station. The oil light was going on and off,
    but it was a really really short trip, and I'd just added some oil.

    Except that apparently the cap had come off the bottom of my oil pan, and I was driving
    with exactly zero oil. This is bad for your car.

    I don't know who to blame; it's been 2500 miles since the last oil change, so that seems
    to rule out one obvious culprit. Do squirrels unscrew oil caps?

    Anyway, the diagnosis was: This car is totaled. It might be drivable for the next day or
    two, but that's it. I took it in to the Lexus dealership, told them very little about what
    had happened, and paid $90 for a second opinion. Diagnosis: This car has a lot of things wrong
    with it. It's hard to imagine it will last more than another day or two. Eerily similar
    to what I'd already been told.

    They offered me $1000 for it as a trade-in. It should have been worth maybe $9000 a couple
    of days ago (it's a 2002 Lexus ES 300), and I had planned to drive it for the next 20 years
    or so. (It had 67,000 miles on it; I figure a well-cared-for Lexus ought to last 200,000
    miles, no?)

    So I bought a new car. The choice came down to the ES350, which is an updated version
    of my old car, or the RX350, the SUV. I love love loved the feel of spaciousness in the
    SUV, I could have used the cargo space, and the user interface with the nav/audio screen
    is stunning. (You get a mouse-like thing instead of the touch screen that you have in the
    ES and it's really quite brilliantly designed.) But it couldn't compete with the
    smoothness, comfort and quiet of the ES. I want my car to feel like my living room---I
    mean like my NEW living room, since I replaced the couch---and the ES comes closest to that.

    So it was a close call. But here's what finally swayed me. It's a tiny thing, but when it's
    so close a call, the tiny things matter. That brilliant user interface in the RX has one
    glaring flaw. Namely: When you're using your iPod (which plugs in through the USB port
    in the armrest!), you can scroll through songs, albums, artists, etc, on the car's screen---
    but whatever your cursor is currently touching starts to play. So you can't listen to
    one thing while scrolling around deciding what to listen to next. As soon as you start
    scrolling, the song changes.

    The ES, being old technology (the 2010 ES is not out yet; the RX was a 2010) just has you
    plug your iPod in through an audio jack and then you operate your iPod in the usual way,
    using the iPod screen instead of the car's screen. That's much better.

    Still---I am sure I will look longingly at the next few dozen RX's that pass me on the
    road. There's a lot to like about it. And it comes in a stunning Cerulean Blue.

    Anyway, the car is bought, the self-flagellation is over, and life goes on. Thanks to
    all who advised.
    1:30 pm
    Car Stuff
     1) Stop driving instantly when your oil light comes on. I've given this advice to dozens
    of people over the years.

    2) Having ignored my own advice, I suddenly need a new car.

    3) It will be either a 2009 Lexus ES 350 sedan or a 2010 Lexus RX 350 SUV. I don't want
    to hear about other options because if I hear about them I will consider them and if I
    consider them this thing will drag on longer than I want it to.

    4) Therefore: Any thoughts or opinions about the ES vs. the RX are most welcome right now.
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